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Monday, February 27, 2012

The World, The Darkness, and The Baptism of My Soul

There I sat, drenched in the realization of grace. I sat, the whole world dark around me contemplating what was happening. This second that was lasting forever. God was taking His time to take every loose end of the way I thought of grace and was connecting each with the reality of what His grace is.

It wasn't long before this revelation started rearranging my entire faith experience. I sat in darkness as I realized that I had taken grace and made it small. Suddenly the world started illuminating around me, and with it the truth of my thoughts.  I had sentenced grace to be a companion to repentance, it was a tool I used to come back to God and that was it. As the darkness slowly retreated, and the drenching realization of God's grace started taking root in my heart, I could feel my misconceptions of grace beading, running down my soul, and dripping off of me one by one. It felt like a new baptism, my realization of His grace, the decent into a place where I experienced God like I hadn't in years, and an emergence back to this world as my old way of thinking dripped out of my soul, hopefully not to return.

I smiled, looking around at the other hotel guests eating their buffet breakfasts oblivious to the fact that God has just changed my soul. My brain couldn't keep up with how fast my soul was processing this wonderful revelation. I couldn't vocalize what grace was at that time, and out of sheer inability to do so could only manage this thought "What is this revelation of grace? My soul can't wrap around it! Like trying to drink the ocean through a straw, I'm breathless."

In the days to come these thoughts unwound in my soul, my soul tickling my brain constantly with new tidbits. It's still happening today, I can feel my soul quicken inside me every time a new shade of grace shows up! I now intend on dedicating my following posts to these "tidbits" rattling in my soul.

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